Unexpected Aspects of Dementia
One Foot in the Gravy
Unexpected Aspects of Dementia
My world grows smaller every day.
I correspond with the world through Substack. I have let all of my past friends, colleagues, contacts go away. I have no interest in speaking with anyone other than my wife, my daughter and her husband.
I am often unable to recall the sequence of steps in a process.
Last Friday I experienced a bad fall. After the emergency squad left, my wife and I analyzed the event. The fall occurred during a transfer from walker to commode. The process involves placing one hand on the sink, one hand on the commode, arranging my trousers then sitting down. I began the process by placing one hand on the commode, then reaching for the sink, then finding myself on the floor.
I have anhedonia
This is an inability to enjoy anything. I typically read two books a week: one novel and one informative non-fiction. I can’t remember the last time I did this. I used to enjoy playing bridge; I haven’t played in decades. Nothing really interests me.
I am no longer able to follow 1,500 word documents
I had to give up my subscription to Glenn Greenwald. His writing tends toward the florid. I likewise gave up my subscription to Chris Rufo; he tends to rely on his opinions as facts, breaking my ability to follow him. It has been two months since I have finished an article by Schellenburg, Taibbi, or Unskooled.
Strangely, my overall memory and IQ are crumbling but still smarter than the average bear.
I’m not sure it’s a good thing that I am able to perceive what is happening to me. It is probably better to know, but that doesn’t stop the grieving. I started this column to share my journey to death, and I need to be honest.
Bill- your memory might be declining but your wisdom still shines through and is appreciated by me and I am sure many others. Thank you. 🙏
Getting older is not for sissies, and you are brave. Very brave. Go slower and do not hurt yourself. Healing is hard.
I am clumsy - I bang my arm or my knee on something and always have a big bruise or abraised skin, bleeding. I am absent minded frequently.
We are fortunate, Bill. We have a closer circle but we are not completely alone.
I just turned 70 - I can't believe it really. Sometimes I feel 70, sometimes I think I am still 40 and should go to the rink and skate for a few hours.
No, I am different now. I am not on fire for much. The grand girls are so sweet- 6 and 9 years.
I am always shaking a bit now. I still sew a lot but fine movements I have shaky hands.
It could be grief, I have lots of it, it could be the trauma of the incident that created the divide between my son in law and me and hubbs. I never see my younger daughter. or her three adorable children. They do not know us anymore.
I am grateful for my older daughter.
I am not sure what I enjoy. Sometimes I just feel like I exist for the hugs and kisses from my hubbs. I am praying for you and your loved ones.